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Food
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 Proper Easy, Proper Apple Pie
The easy method
Recipe devised by the Editorial Team, 29/10/11
Okay, so you've all obviously been dying to cook an Apple Pie and why would you go anywhere else but Pie Magazine UK? Haha, exactly. So here's one of the easiest recipes you'll find on the web to cooking the pie, and you'll be greatful this easy-going larky will produce something very, very tasty indeed.
Here's what you'll need, in a nutshell:
We're all quite hungry people, so it'll serve about four of you. But if you're making it for your mother's book club, then no worries, it'll go around six.
700g of Cooking Apples; this is about six of 'em, but it naturally decides on the size of your choice of apple.
1/2 a Lemon, juiced; this is a quirky addition - it's also quite fun to juice lemons...
A "Pie Dish"; it's circular, usually made of china. If you're stuck, ring Delia Smith.
Sprinkle of ground Cinnamon; Christmas-twist, Pie's secret ingredient to all sweet pies.
Eggs; Lightly beat around one medium sized egg, in a measuring jar thing.
100g of Sugar; Caster sugar is your best bet, or you'll probably have problems; but it's home-made, so go wild.
A Nob of Butter; Last time I said this, someone asked: how much is a nob? I've got to admit, I lauged. Let's say 25g.
Around 700g of Ready-made Shortcrust pastry; Cheap as chips and works wonders, old sport.
Flour; Only a little, you'll be using it to dust it, we like snow.
Making the Tasty Thing...
Step One
Bung the oven on. If you're on electric, go with the bog-standard 180C, if you're rocking and on gas, then you'll want gas-mark 4.
Step Two
You'll want to skin the apples. You can do this with a small knife or a potato peeler, although the latter will take a while so stick a film on whilst you do it. Then cut the cores out, as pippy-pie isn't as admirable. Although, it is homemade, so feel free to, as I said, go wild. Chop them up.
Step Three
Pour the lemon juice onto the chopped up, skinned apples - hopefully cored - and add the cinnamon. Here's that quirky flavour I mentioned, you'll thank me later when you eat it.
Step Four
Pour the sugar into the apple-lemon-cinnamon combo and give it a very good mix. That's why cooks go to the gym. Whilst you're getting someone else to do this part, slap on the beaten egg to the Pie dish, it'll act like a non-stick kind of thing, hopefully. When all these things are done and dandy, add the apple mix to the dish.
Step Five
Grab your nob of butter and pop chunks in dot-to-dots over the mixture which is now sat level in your pie dish. This'll melt in and make it all creamy and nice, do trust me.
Step Six
Roll out your pastry! Hoorah for the ready-made, aye? You don't want it to thin, but enough to cover the pie dish. you'll want a little overlap too, say the width of your thumb. Unless your quite a large animal, in which case, just use a rough guess of a centimetre.
Step Seven
Make it look pretty! Yes, alright, we'll do that in a sec'. First, stab - quite gently - a couple of holes in the top. These'll let out steam and avoid a soggy apple pie. As much as goo is nice, soggy is not. "Fork"-pattern the edges of the pastry where it overlaps the pie dish a little, this'll seal it in nicely. Now, with any pastry left, don't waste it. Roll it around in icing sugar (only a little, or it'll burn) and flour, then cut pretty shapes. Slap 'em on top of your pie (you can glue them on with a little water), not covering the steam holes, and these'll sparkle just for you later on. How lovely.
Step Eight
With the rest of your egg - yes, that's right, I really hope you didn't use it all, did you? - slap it on the top of your pie so it glistens and your flour-icing dusted patterns don't burn.Then bung it in the over for a good half an hour to 45 minutes. It'll need to be golden brown on top, as does most bakery-food.
Step Nine
Eat it while you read Pie. Then marvel at the irony.
Starting Simple: Time for a Sweet Brekkie
Cooking up Pancakes
Recipe devised by Ben Franks, 02/6/11
Pancakes for breakfast is one of the easiest and most popular mornings under the sun.
As this great batter-based breakie grows on people all over the world, it's about time for young people to know how to make these simple delights willy nilly and at their leisure. So, here's ePie's simple recipe to cooking up one dandy set of pancakes.
 What you will need:
(Makes about 10, but we all know these approximates are stupidly innacurate anyway...)
100g PLAIN FLOUR [4oz]
1 PINCH OF SALT
200ml MILK
2 EGGS
1 "NOB OF BUTTER"
1 WOODEN SPOON
1 FRYING PAN (small or large, depends on what pancakes you want)
Making pancakes, after you have the bits and bobs above, is actually rather easy. So, just follow these bitesize steps to a perfect batter:
STEP ONE
Put the flour into a bowl. Add the pinch of salt.
STEP TWO
Make a dent in the flour and crack two eggs into the middle of the bowl of flour.
Don't get any shell into the mix, unless you like that kind'a thing...
STEP THREE
Now, most recipes will say to beat and add milk gradually. This is toddles.
Simply add all the milk to the unbeaten, unmixed eggs and flour.
STEP FOUR
Grab your wooden spoon and beat the ingredients in the bowl. Give it some good ol'elbow grease.
It is done when you scoop the mix up and it gradually pours off the spoon. Oh, and there won't be any bits.
STEP FIVE
Heat up a pan and pop in the nob of butter. When the butter has melted to the point of appearing like oil, place your hand a safe distance above the fat. If you can feel heat on your palm, it's time to start adding the batter!
STEP SIX
Add enough batter to make a pancake. You'll see tiny bubbles appearing on the pancake mixture, when this happens flip up the edges and see if it is going brown. You should flip it over after about two minutes. Leave for the same amount of time on the other side and then put on a hotplate while you make the other pancakes. To do this, repeat the process and experiment with different shapes in the pan... if you like.
STEP SEVEN
Serve your pancakes with anything. Experiment. Ham, cheese, tomato and all things savoury, or lemon, sugar, chocolate spread, honey, maple syrup and all things sweet. Go crazy. These pancakes are yours.
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